Friday, August 23, 2019

Deep Water

The same listless nights, the same glowing screens. The same old music, nostalgia reincarnate. Is there anything that I can do to escape my own thoughts? What are we doing this for? Another night where I should be asleep, but instead I stay swarming in useless thoughts. A shell, a fraction of my former self; although this version is more refined, there is less of her.

Ideally, strength would come naturally. There would be no need, but, that's not how life works. I've grown to realize this, later than most. Keep treading, treading on the path where we can only go forward.

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I subject myself to the pain of remembering? I am a robot strapped into the hard drive of my past. Rain falling - a ghost I can still feel inside - my younger self. I breathe memories back into my being with music. Lying for hours in a dark room. Childhood I can never reclaim. Do you ever listen to songs and reflect upon a simpler time? The coldness of this world is something I can’t break away from. This selfishness; I can’t control it.

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Behave yourself, now. ;)