i guess nothing really quickens my heartbeat the way it used to when i was younger.
maybe about a decade ago, things would have been different, and would have meant something. but the more i go on, the more i feel nothing matters, or that nothing instills passion in my heart. yeah... i guess what i'm trying to say is that nothing inspires me. you know? as chuck palahniuk once said... "art never comes from happiness". nor does it appear to come from contentedness, in my case.
i have no stories to tell. i have no stories left. my life is routine and mundane. i feel like all i ever do is repeat this mantra over and over.
before i was angst and wrote about love and the lack of it or a distorted perception of it. but now... now i know if someone doesn't love me, then whatever. it doesn't hurt me, and it's not my loss or their loss, but perhaps it's simply a lack of compatibility.
things i've been looking at today... since it's christmas, i should think about treating myself, yeah? or not since you know, i treat myself all the time. BUT STILL, look at this cute l'il baby Shigure figure. i just love the casual dress they put the shipgirls in, as opposed to their regular designs.
i'm thinking about buying this figure since it's relatively cheap. but i'm supposed to be saving monies. well, i've always been bad at that anyway, plus it's christmas so... what can ya do?
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Behave yourself, now. ;)