Hello... it's me, writing from the abyss. This broken world...
And I don't really have anything to say! I guess I should try and write like I did in old times, back 7 years ago. But I can't. My adult mind is crippled.
Maybe I should go play some bingo.
Are you wanting to write because of nostalgic feelings or do you really want to write?
ReplyDeleteI feel like if its a nostalgic feeling, it may be something you can never replicate again (which is a shame i know). I think its good to feel those feelings but putting yourself into a rut just because you arent feeling those same feelings again is a bit painful. somewhat self inflicted and self harm.
if you are really want to start a new and start writing again, you may want to take it from a different view and start from a clean slate. You grew up and changed so much for the past 7 years. Those life experiences and emotions sometimes just cant be replicated because not only you that is changing its everything else in the world hat is changing too.
It really pains me to see you still stuck over this and I wish I can really do more to help or support you but i dont come from a writing background so i have no idea what i can do.
but yes, lets go play some bingo sometime. or other RNG related games ;) heh.
Thanks Willennium, it brings me comfort to have you here supporting me. Your words are completely valid. I had to ask myself those same questions. And I feel like I do want to keep writing because I am a writer, I want to tell a story, but I have no inspiration. A good writer detaches from their characters, or should, but when I detach I just feel nothing and have nothing to say. My life is pretty stagnated. So unexciting. I work, I fulfill social obligations, I strive to be a better human being (Christ-like) but to what end?
DeleteIt pleases God when we praise Him and devote our lives to Him. Nuns in cloistered monasteries devote their ENTIRE life to prayer and being close to our Creator. But I can't, I'm too ensnared by this material world, this broken world, this fallen world. I am intrinsically part of it. So I'm lost and falling.
I dont want to water down our faith but i feel sometimes that we cant even do the simplest things Jesus instructed us to do. Let alone devoting our ENTIRE life to God. Such as giving up ALL your possessions to follow Him.
DeleteIts hard idea to follow and its just not realistic in my mind anyways. Am I not faithful if I dont give up everything to follow God? Maybe my faith isnt strong enough but I dont want to be blind in faith neither. Maybe thats our folly? We dont trust enough? So I dont know.
If we had all the answers, we wouldnt need to seek God because by having all the answers we would be God ourselves.
At the end of the day, I feel like we just need to be accountable in the eyes of God because we arent perfect. Lets just start with Jesus' greatest commandment and go from there (to which sometimes we cannot even do).
Amen brother
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