older vs younger

The Daily Life of a Fish Mum

This morning we picked up Merlin the Fish, the butterfly male betta I won from a contest held by a local breeder. I've placed him in a ten gallon aquarium temporarily, while I find my bearings. I'm not sure what to do with the three tanks I have running at my parent's house right now. My stocking options are roughly this:

26 gallon Fluval in living room - BAT tank 
-buenos aires tetra x5
-zebra danios x7-8
-corydoras x5 (albino and elegens)
-otocinclus x4 (I HOPE)
-MAYBE cardinals? maybe? is the tank even large enough o_o
-amano shrimp x5? 
-mystery snail x1 (Faker)

Merlin's tank - Moon tank 3.0?
-male betta x1
-harlequin & lambchop rasbora x??? (I have a lot... need to count stock)
-nerite snail x1 (Snorlax)

Fluval Flex 15
-female betta x1
-ember tetra x3
-allllll my pygmy cories (don't know how many are alive still o__o)

I might put my oto's in the pea puffer tank of 37 gallons, depending on how established at the time of the move. I am planning for this Saturday.

Last night, Peter and I watched Everything Everywhere All at Once. It was a heartwarming story, and very funny. 

The movie helped me appreciate the smaller things in life, such as daily life with a loved one, even when the day is filled with mundane tasks. Peter has been working so hard to support our home. He made a delicious dinner last night and even made soup for us, which we ate with some macaroni today for lunch. I feel so fortunate to have such a kind man as my partner. And he even lets me litter the house with aquariums, ha ha ha.

Kindness

I received the above message from a friend today. It's funny how many people seem to think that I am a cheery, energetic, and passionate person. Which of course I am, I do identify as such. 

But happy? 

I give pause to such a claim.

I suppose for people looking into my life, things seem to be on the upside. Of course, I never complain and I never explain, in public that is. I dont feel comfortable airing my laundry out for everyone to read on social media. I don't need pity or validation from irrelevant people.

In these trying times, I'm sure a lot of us are struggling. And even before things like the pandemic and wars and uprisings, things that have always existed, I'm sure the suffering was always there. Social media has a way of making everything more transparent. I wonder if we're all in one large echo chamber of a world.

Self compassion card

 

cool girl

You got a man, but I don't know that
It's hard to control when you work that back

You throw your hips to the side
You got spice and your man don't know
You got your eyes on my eyes
We got plans that we're keepin' low
Don't change your mind

You got spice, but your girls don't know 
We got plans, but we keep them low 
We move fast, then we take it slow

Baby, keep your hands on me
Know that I should leave, but I just can't leave you
Know you feel my energy
If I took your heart, swear I didn't mean to

A new year! Should be refreshing.

All I know is that

Memories of the year before and the year before that...

I hold onto them dearly

Especially that summer love

Dancing in the evening 

Seated at the bar, at the pub

Enjoying the hope 

Of

Happiness