1 Minute, 1 Second ~Revival~

I woke up and realized I'm not a rebel anymore. I used to be, back in high school. I was a rebellious girl with an attitude, but I think that was because I had a best friend to back me up when the going got rough. And not just ANY 'best friend'. We were connected in a way that I would never be able to describe to those who never experienced such a bond before. We shared a heart!! Not only that, but similar interests, a similar sense of humour, and complimenting personalities. XD

I didn't care what others thought of me because we had each other. If a stranger bumped me in the hallway, I'd think nothing of yelling "FUCK YOU!" right back at them. (Mature, I know...)

I'd somehow manage to persuade teachers into giving me food (toffee, cookies, pizza) and we'd share it. LOL. Those were the days.

I hoped it would be forever.

I remember that one lunchtime we sat outside in the "smoke pit" near the parking lot. It was raining pretty hard that day. We sat there, listening to my iPod and chatting. Then on some crazy impulse I ran over to where some bikes were chained and jumped on one. The seat was wet, so my ass ended up soaked on one side. We laughed so much over nothing, things that wouldn't make sense to anyone else. No one else would have understood our world.

I don't think I ever told her this, but years ago I prayed to find someone that got me. Someone that understood me. When she entered my life, I remember thinking, "Oh man. God answered my prayer." Then I went and screwed it up, but it's not like things would have remained perfect. She was leaving anyway. In the end, it wouldn't have mattered what I thought or did. So then... Why do I care? I wish I wasn't such a bleeding heart.

We can’t go back.

I'm flying solo now. I feel like I've been left with only half a world. It's not the same. I've been working so hard to forget. To move along. Here I am, alone again, in the exact place I was before.

Not even for one moment.

Broken promises and wasted dreams. Plaguing my past. Sure, I've had more than my fair share of happy moments, but I can't help but reminisce over 'what could have been'. Do other people do that as well? I'm sure they do. I wonder if she ever does.

Not even for 1 minute, 1 second.