Torn

so if you're lonely,

you know I'm here waiting for you

October has finally started feeling like fall. I wake with a slight chill in the room, but nestled under the warmth of several blankets, I feel at ease.

My work schedule has been smoothing out as well. I start work anywhere between 10AM~12PM, which I prefer anyway. I'm not so much a morning person; I need at least an hour and a half to prepare everything in the morning, so if I had to work at 9AM, I would have to wake up at 7:30AM! Which is pretty brutal, if you ask me. Some people can, I can't.

Plus, it's always a rush when I need to take my dog out for his morning rounds. I feel bad because I prioritize lazing in bed for a few moments more over rolling out of bed to walk him earlier. But I will improve that, I am aware of it, I will change.

Cosmic Remedy

i feel the love,
let the past burn into the sun

There was the boy with sandy brown hair and sad eyes. I often saw him on the train in the mornings, on my way to work.

Others around him listened to music or played on their phones, but not him. He always looked deep in thought, with his brow slightly furrowed as he stared out the window. He appeared young, too young to have such a sad expression.

He looked like someone I knew; that's what I told myself whenever I saw him. Perhaps I was trying to convince myself. Perhaps I was just lonely.

Couldn't it be both?

It's Okay

can't you see you're my dream?
i can't bear to lose

I don't know what life is supposed to be, but I'm floatin' along anyway. Right now everything is so peaceful, and at ease. In any case, life is always full of surprises, and I hope it's a feeling that no one, and nothing, can ever permanently take away from me.

I stayed up all night reading the novel Salt to the Sea. I could not stop reading! Each page was gripping; the story and characters were riveting. I eagerly devoured each line and flipped through the pages until the end.

That is how I want to write -- something beautiful and tangled and tragic like that novel. I was so afraid Joana and Florian would have a sad ending; every time they interacted, I internally screamed for them to open up to each other. This book seriously gripped me, I can't even explain!

Are we not going to talk about how Florian was younger and Joana was 21? That's epic. Like, when do novels ever show a relationship between a younger man and older woman? I don't know. Revolutionary.

Of course, they had to throw in a wise old man and cute kid -- Heinz and Klaus, respectively. God, I know I will be re-reading this book.

I won't touch on Emilia's sad backstory because I'm sure everyone was as shocked as me when they discovered the truth, but her character was selfless and angelic in a different way than Joana. Emilia was so attached to Florian, I didn't know why at first, but I assumed it was because she was attracted to him. In the end, Emilia did show care towards Joana and even Ingrid, oh my goodness the poor blind gal. I'm ranting and gushing about this novel and it is just pretty sad that I don't have anyone to really share my passion for stories with nowadays. Nobody even reads anymore, do they?

Midnight

we were dancing in summer rain,

i knew we would end in pain

The soft ring of a cellphone echoed through the dark room, accompanied by a low buzzing. Its owner grunted, rolling over in a mess of twisted white sheets. He stretched his arm out and grabbed it; by then it had fallen silent.

He brushed strands of golden hair out of his eyes and squinted at the glowing screen.

Missed call from...

Fortune

Another long day, over with! I'm happy to report that my pasta sauce was well-received by all! My friend at work liked it, and when I came home I found all remnants of it were gone, consumed by my brother (and his friends, apparently).

And what goes around comes around, because my work mom, a nice older lady, was nice enough to bring lunch for me! I got a pulled pork and mushroom sandwich with a de-licious~ lime tart. It was scrumptious, divine even! I could taste the texture of the rind in the filling. I savoured every bite.

In any case...

I need to start taking better care of my dog. I'm pretty lazy to brush his teeth, and I want to switch his food back to what it was before. I don't think he's doing that well on the new food I bought him; I'm planning to switch him to Orijen senior for convenience, but I might try out Crudo dog food for a raw diet. The only problem is with my work schedule, I don't know who might be feeding him and taking him out in the evenings. I guess I could switch to feeding him once a day, but that seems kinda cruel.