We Were Not In Love

Another day, another night.

Something's missing, but it's a piece of my own heart. A fragment that broke off somehow. Maybe it's embedded itself somewhere I can never find. I'm learning to be okay with that.

Life is full of blandness, full of sorrow--yet there is also a marbling of contentment, a sprinkle of happiness here and there.

The past cuts deep into my heart, shaking me to the core. The knife, Excalibur in the stone. I wonder, if the One pulls out the blade, will I be saved? Or would I bleed out?

I'm the witch. I'm the dragon. I'm frozen into stone.

And I'm okay with that.

A sad tune, a nostalgic story. What will it take for me to forget?

Your eyes, vivid in my mind. Your voice, etched into my ears.

I'm falling on my own, again.

---

I rarely write about my day, and I should probably change that. I used to write about my life in some detail, in an attempt to preserve those memories, but now I tend to only record feelings.

I miss my old blog, 7V13. But it's nice here, too. I have to say, 7V13 was more more raw, but more foolish as well. I bared my stupidity for all to see. In fact, I still do, but hopefully with a bit more grace than my younger days.

Striving to be better, I try my best to reflect on my mistakes. I feel nowhere near where I want to be. I want to figure myself out. Self-reflection is the only path to growth, after all.

In my life, I'm fairly happy with where I am. I have friends, and I'm always keeping busy. I am well-fed, and quite pampered by others. Yet, I do oftentimes feel something empty within myself...

I've thought about it, and I do want it. Happiness.

nothing lasts forever
but across time, i’ll be waving
some things don’t change

nothing lasts forever
but i’ll climb over the wall of time
and wait until you call my name again
i’ll come back
if you think of me sometimes
i’ll come back
if you cry for me

i’ll come back
if you leave a space in your heart empty for me
i’ll come back

back to you

--munbae-dong / epik high