Things Went Wrong ~Revival~

You ask me how my day was. It's the same everyday.
I say that I'm okay, but you don't really know how I feel. 

Everyone's so boring. They're all too engrossed in studying or working to have fun anymore. They're always "too busy" or "too lazy/tired". Maybe they're just making up excuses so they don't have to be bothered with entertaining me, but still. It pisses me off.

Do you think I'll be okay without you?
Will you be okay without me? 

What happened to the simpler days, where friends could hang out whenever they wanted to? It didn't matter what homework was due the next day, or whether they were broke. What mattered what having a good time with people they cared about.

It's hard to live in this world without you.
That's why I blame myself for still breathing. 

Now, people have to be penned into schedules just to be able to see each other face-to-face. Youth are too concerned with making money so they can move out and support themselves in this imperfect world. "Growing up." That's what it is, right? It sucks. Once we're older, we'll never have the chance to live life through the eyes of a teenager anymore. I lost my childhood and I'm missing my teenage years already. When you don't have time for even your friends... I can't help being bitter. I want my friends back.

I live each day painfully because of what you said.
Tell me if this is a bad thing to do.

Life isn't the same without her. She's always been there, but now even she has no time for me anymore. And I can't say anything, because if I do, it'll be like I'm holding her back from her goals. Her dreams. She wants to make something of herself, and I'm only in the way. I think I love her, but who knows. I once thought she felt the same; now I'm starting to wonder.

Do you live each day painfully like me? 

I miss summer days in the sun. When we'd lie in the grass, my head on her lap, and stare up at the bright sky. Maybe watch a stray cloud move slowly across the clear blue canvas. Compare the tops of trees, maybe; there was this one treetop we saw that always bent over the others. Maybe it was looking after the littler trees or something. We'd grab donuts and cookies at the nearest 7-11 after, maybe.

Are we too late? Do we not have a chance?
I still think about you and you might know this. 

Things seemed right. Talking at the back of the bus. She hated public transit. I don't like it either, but I didn't mind. I was with her. I was so happy with her. At times my life revolved around the chance to reply to an email, an email that sometimes would never come. We were connected then. Now it's like everything went wrong. Those days will never come back. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.

Is it too late? Do not we have a chance?
I still think about you, and you might not know it.