special

“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” --Dita Von Teese 

I haven't posted anything lolita-related for a while. I want to blog about my Halloween event last month but I've been busy and... not in the best mood because of recent happenings.

I feel like I'm living two separate lives where during the day everything is peachy and I'm experiencing new things but at the same time whenever night falls I think back to the past, and my memories there for two years. Sometimes I feel guilt, which I should rightfully feel... and sometimes I feel numb, like what happened was eventually going to happen anyway.

I ripped up the notes inspired by dreams. I tore up every root and threw away all. I remember vividly the last tears that fell upon your shoulder and melted away for ever. lost forever.

I thought this was a sign...

I wasn't a good person; does karma exist? Is happiness a sort of torture?
Do I deserve to be so happy and lucky, when someone who gave me their everything was so deeply wounded and betrayed?
I don't care about others... I don't care what others think
I will be happy.

heartless

playlist: 
little bad girl (instrumental) - david guetta
heartless - kanye west
aural synapse - deadmau5

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone
< /fall back into old habits >

I can't believe David Guetta, deadmau5 and especially Kanye West are helping me get over my recent sad happenings. The truth is, I am also taking it very hard, and I am trying not to think about it. I haven't found anything else makes me feel happy, at least not in the deeper meaning of the word where I feel an emotional fulfillment. I don't mind being alone, I guess. I don't mind smiling at the few people that have listened and supported me always, which are friends I don't see everyday and my co-workers at Cellcom.

Sometimes when I feel like I want to cry, nothing comes out. I guess that means my brain has already stacked up a wall around my heart to protect me; and I wonder, how much longer until I start to feel again? Do I need to heal, or, can I be happy being independent while only leaning on my friends?

I have just been working and going to school and we are moving to a kiosk soon which I am not excited about but that's life -- and ... now that I have free time, I'm just going to focus on school and work out more. Nothing else I can do

Dreamy Night Star

I got a special nail design for the month of October; the design features large round sparkles for the tips and glittery stars throughout. This is the closest I come to a Halloween-spooky theme, since I did a sort of dreamy lavender colour with purple stars~ sort of like a pastel night sky.

Ring finger has a small white bow with a purple star center~

I really start to love my recent sets of nails. I switched from a square shape to a rounder feminine shape~ (although Shan says she likes square shape better...)

Bon Bon

It amazes me how adorable Emily Temple Cute's items are! I fell in love with a bunny pouch from their web shop. Unfortunately I'm not in a position to splurge on this item, but this gold bunny pouch would be great to hold my make-up items and would match so well with my gold Milk heart bag!

Adorbs. Also comes in pink! Two of my favourite colours.

I wish I could find some time to compile a wishlist and then save up money to buy the items~~ *^^* There's a lot of cute items I want to buy but I've been working to save some money.

I want to find time to re-decorate my room, maybe buy a new wardrobe? And mattress? Sounds fun to redecorate since I really am not moving out anytime soon. I should focus on writing my essay tonight on Galatea!!!

Talk soon xo

Pink Biscuit

My Emily Temple Cute biscuit JSK arrived this week and the dress is super cute. (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)♫ I don't regret swapping the ivory for the pink, because pink suits into my wardrobe a lot better.

Slapped together an experimental coord: everything ETC, except the bag~

I rarely see any photos of the biscuit dress in pink. I only see it in the ivory and blue colour. So I'm pretty stoked to wear this dress. Although the cutting at the bust of my ivory dress was a bit nicer, I'm not going to mind it.

I made a hair bow out of my hair~~or maybe they are cat ears?

Thanks for visiting!!! (´ ▽｀).。ｏ♡