dysthymia

I got chosen as a model for Angelic Pretty's mini fashion show. I don't really feel too excited or anything, even though I know a lot of girls would love this opportunity. Would they? Lol, I don't even know. Do I even care?

northwest fan fest 2014

so i was lucky enough to be selected as a model for fairytale boutique @nwff. i modelled a gorgeous blue dress from automatic honey called "moonlight pegasus". the dress was covered in individual crystals and was very beautiful. the headdress was a veil with more crystals, and... everything was just very elegant and extravagant.

i'm so lazy to post photos... lol but i should, what kind of blogger am i, anyway... the answer to that is, a bad one. hah~

borrowed my friend's btssb scepter~

Model's group shot~ i-is it cute?

it was a really fun experience, and i got to spend time with two of my local lolita friends... i really felt so lucky to be there. i won't forget my happy feeling... such an experience, i'm so thankful for.

i really hope i can get the chance to model for angelic pretty when they come to vancouver this august. i don't really have anything to look forward to recently... but no point in worrying, if i can just focus on improving myself, things should be fine, right?

filled with poison / but blessed with beauty and rage

once upon a dream

Michael's Blessing Rose Headband &
Searching for Baroque Pattern Tights♡

My rose hair accessory and tights from BABY arrived today. The little pink roses look so delicate, and exquisite at the same time... seems really delicate. The entire band is wrapped up in pink ribbon. I can't wait to wear this coordinate~

The fashion show is on Saturday, so I have to prepare for that. At least I have the day off... I'll upload more photos of things I bought later. I haven't had much time for personal things lately...

yeah my boyfriend's pretty cool  |  but he's not as cool as me

-lana del rey, brooklyn baby

ULTRAVIOLENCE

Sweet chocolate biscuit houses~
A mini lolita meet on 6/16/2014

I feel more like a lolita lately. I'm slowly reaching my goals of dressing up in the fashion more! Two other lolita and myself have created a little group of sorts. I hope we can continue to share our mutual love of the fashion.

They say, "do not cast your pearls before swine"; but how can I know who is to be trusted and who will turn to trample me? People are so ugly, people are so disappointing. Lately my attitude is turning more and more bitter and mistrusting towards people. I need to focus more on myself. As if I wasn't selfish enough, already.

I felt that I don't have an identity. I felt I'm trying too hard to be too many different things at once. I don't really know who I am. A lot of women don't care about what others think, they disregard the opinion of others that might be negative. But for me, I'm too nervous about everything. I try to balance delicately on the fine line between conventional and deviance. I can't be like the others, but I feel awkward singled out as well.

I have prooblemmmss~~~ but I just focus on x.

Oh and regarding the lolita meetup I had... Umm, what? Well I guess I forgot to mention that, but I met up with some local lolita and a dear friend of mine. We went to eat Japanese food in the morning in Steveston and then ate again at my favourite high tea place. Here are the obligatory food photos, haha~ I am so lazy to post anything lately. Or write, for that matter. There are too many things on my mind. ;w;

My darling darjeeling tea and macaron... Truly blissful!
"La Petite Cuillere" in Vancouver *^^*

A princess lunch~ "Ichiro" Japanese restaurant in Steveston.
The sushi chef said we were "kawaii lolita" as we were leaving... *^^*

gloria

it hurts tonight. i don't know what.
a mixture of numbness and pain.
a numb pain. hard to describe
like harsh pain dulled by medication
medicated by life experiences
so cruel, so jaded. disappointment
building this barrier to protect oneself,
shutting out happiness. but at the same time
disappointment.

wishing for understanding from the angel
we cannot even see.