Baggage Reclaim

I went and did the thing today, and I'm not sure what the outcome will be but I'm glad it's over and done with. Now I'm back at home, chilling after putting some laundry in, drinkin' coconut water. Now it's up to destiny.

I've been feeling like I'm in a place of change. Caught in-between phases. I've been openly trying to pursue the things I want in life, and unsure of the progress. I should be more active and get my body back from last year before I go to L.A. and take those bikini beach photos, haha. I really haven't been motivated because as per the previous post, I've been moping in my own self-pity.

Well, since I don't want to bother any of my friends with my personal problems, might as well spill things out on here, my blog.

Whenever I feel down on myself, I tend to withdraw from people, save for a select few. Those people I pester consistently. But I mean, the thing I miss most is having an activity partner. When people are in relationships, they do many things together. If there was a movie or show I'd want to watch, I'd tell my partner. If there was a place I wanted to go to, I'd do the same. I remember how fantastic it used to be to go to raves with my boo. And of course I forced/dragged them to things like restaurants I wanted to go to, and After Hours at the Vancouver Aquarium, yoga, and all sorts of things he had no interest in but went because I wanted to go. I miss that, but I could always do those things with friends, but it's not as close and intimate as a date. Driving to get fried chicken at night, or eating Taiwanese sausage fried rice after work... Man, the memories were just going through the motions, they didn't really mean anything, in my opinion. Everything meant more to me than anyone else.

I'm going to try and make new friends, and strengthen the relationship with existing friends. I've cut a lot of people out of my life, and I'm not ashamed of doing that, because going forward I'm not going to keep people in my life who make me unhappy.

So, now I'm going to make myself some lunch and chill out... ciao.