Monday, December 12, 2016


I had a dream where a large sheet of glass broke and a shard embedded itself in my throat. I ripped the glass fragment out of my throat with my fingers and blood started gushing out over my hands with every beat of my pulse.

My parents were there, and someone pressed a folded up napkin into my hands and I pressed it against my throat. The dream felt so real. I honestly thought I was going to die.

I took my phone in my hand and texted him. I forgot what he replied. I tried to send a photo but I could not. It felt very warm at my neck, putting pressure on the wound.

I lived, but did he care? Who was that person?


Noctis took Karelos's hand in the car. For the first time, Karelos felt nothing. No quickening heartbeat or unquenchable longing-- nothing. And she wondered, is this it? Is this the extent of love and passion in the world that comes to a stop? This is the life she had given her past up for?

In the dim light, she could make out his high nose and fine cheekbones from his profile as he stared in front of him. He made no effort to face her, but she felt the warmth spread from his fingers, creating heat in her cold palms.

For a while, neither of them spoke.

"I'm tired, I should get to sleep," she finally mumbled, and she knew it was a weak excuse but still he said nothing.

He let her go with a nod and she slipped out of his fancy car and walked off towards her apartment. Pulling out the card key, she buzzed the door open and stepped into the lobby. A part of her wondered if he had already driven away, but she resisted the urge to glance back. There wouldn't be a point to do that, anyway.

That night, Karelos lay awake in her bed and wondered about what life and what love was. Everything fades, but her life right now was a washing wave that hadn't passed. She pictured herself hitting the sandy shore in a daze and wondered what else would wash up beside her.