Bit By Bit

The saddest thing about memories is the people that we used to know, and the person that we used to be during those times.

In my 26 years of life, I've experienced a lot of special memories that I've vowed to hold dear:

Memories of youth on a sunny beach with the family, pina colada ice cream and drying sand dollars and a huge crab in a green bucket.

Bringing home my first puppy and having that small ball of fur fitting right in my lap, kissing him and making him a mental promise that he would always have a home with us.

Sunny days on a hill with a lover, eating pate and smoked meats and enjoying each other's company passionately.

Touching foreheads with a lover during the holiday season, while the evening sky started to lightly snow for the first time.

Travelling to a new country with a friend, roaming the streets, dressed in the frilly fashion we both loved, living the dream.

I've experienced a wide array of pain and happiness. But one thing that made me feel the most "understood", was having someone who encouraged me to keep being the best I could be. To chase my hobbies, keep writing and drawing, encouraged me... building a world together. That's a rare thing to find. I understand my emotions are from romanticized memories. But the way I felt was real.

Her writing flowed so effortlessly into mine. Her art, inspiring me to create my own. Fueling my fantasies in a world of borrowed characters and alternate universes. How can I ever recover from the thrill of having a world to escape to, with someone to share it with?

I'm a fraction of what I used to be when I was younger. Not in age, but in skill. And although I've said and done things I regret, I can't take any of it back. Everyone matures and grows at a different pace. No one can blame me for living out who I was meant to be.

Still... I'm waiting for someone to make me feel something again. I'm in limbo... unable to move forward nor back. Wading through the same thing over and over again.

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I followed you until the end
Counting every step
I did not know what was to come
But still I tried and dreamt

I wondered where I was before
I honestly can't say
This must be the love they speak of
In those myths I read

I could give this world away
To keep this endless high
The more I let go, the more I am whole
This time it's for real

When you know you found the one to keep
Oh, we wonder how we did not see
Our eyes open when we find that love
And we heal

This must be the love