Sunday, October 2, 2011

fragment

I have been trying to write more stories! And I have, kind of. But they're one-shots. I'm just trying to get those stagnant juices flowing again. xD;; But it's fun! Really fun. I like writing things for people...hehe. I just don't know if I am even getting the character right anymore though. I mean, I know what she used to be like (..or do I?) but this is a whole new era. Epoch, even. Man do I detest Geology. It makes me weep like no other! How sad life is when school is what has the greatest impact on it. But I'm trying to study and things.

So, I can't really have a fun life. I suppose I can live vicariously through Karelos, then? Perhaps...but the poor girl really is troubled. I think Karen should free herself from writer's block. Sheer willpower, baby. That's how you do it. Or...Sheer Cold? That's a Pokemon move, right? And it's a one-hit KO! I don't even know how this is relevant at all. I'm just totally frazzled right now. But I will send you all my stories and things soon, so yeah, you can put them in the Hall of Fame! Thank Arceus that Professor Oak isn't the one in charge of immortalizing our stories. I mean, I just couldn't take it! The Champion always locks that poor sad fool out.

Ahhh I should stop thinking about dragon masters and lances and all those old jokes, shouldn't I? I'm too ancient for that now...I'm like a Kabuto fossil...or something. But whatever, I don't care. Good memories are forever! Unless you're that woman from The Notebook. Hahaha oh no I shouldn't say that. I'll probably delete this ramble because it makes the page look less neat compared to the other story. But anyway, I hope this means something to someone out there. Enjoy... cause I enjoyed writing it!




Karelos closed her psychology textbook. She had been reading it for hours. That morning, she had gotten up early and headed to school. There was no point in staying at home. She couldn’t sleep. Staring at the blank ceiling and watching the fan whir night after night was beginning to take a toll on her. There were too many thoughts. Stray ends of a comet she could never catch, of a dream that had escaped. There were too many minutes that went by, full of silence that was only interrupted by the sluggish thud of her heart.

This ambition to study had come about in quite an unintentional fashion. She never studied, not really. Karelos tended to breeze into class with a smile and an assurance that she wouldn’t fail. Curiously enough, she did well. Wonderful, her professors scrawled on her half-assed papers.

Opening the textbook had been easy enough. But after a few hours of re-reading the same paragraphs, she realized that nothing had stuck in her brain. The words taunted her on the page, black stains on crisp white paper. Photographs of famous people. Important people. People she didn’t want to know anything about. Other students studied in the library, but she never went there. Rows upon rows of bent heads poring over schoolwork. The books smelled of must, the smell of everything forgotten. Like salt upon her soul.

“Mind if I join you?”

Karelos looked up. A boy. She studied him for a split second: dark hair, dark eyes. Flirtatious eyes, from the way they flickered over her body. She fancied that he was the playboy type. His smile came too quickly. There was nothing genuine about it. And no one shy possessed that kind of easy confidence. Or arrogance. She rarely knew the difference. But from experience, it had never mattered. Most people were dull. And the ones who weren’t, well…

She always did like rare things the best.

Karelos glanced around the table, hoping that other students, other girls, were around to take him off her hands, but it was late afternoon. Evening classes hadn’t started yet. The cafeteria only held a few stragglers. She had to play the game. She was the one who made the rules, after all.

She offered him a lazy smile. “Sure.”

“Thanks.” He sat across from her. “Karelos, right?”

“Let me guess. I’m supposed to know you?”

“Shouldn’t I? They say you know everyone.”

Karelos shrugged. “Define know.”

“I don’t think that’s an appropriate topic for our first conversation.”

“Then we won’t get along.”

He raised his eyebrow slightly. “Why’s that?”

“I’m not appropriate.” She tapped her pen on the table. “And you’re not, either.”

“Yeah? How do you figure?”

“If you wanted appropriate,” Karelos said indifferently, “you’d sit elsewhere.”

He laughed. “You’re just like they say.”

“I wouldn’t know. I don’t pay attention to gossip. I don’t care what strangers think about me.” Karelos nodded at her textbook. “ As you can tell, I’m the kind of girl who works hard.”

“Oh. I didn’t take you for a good student.”

She rested her chin on her palm. “Now that’s insulting.”

“So you do care.”

“Hmm?”

“About what strangers think of you.”

“Not really.” She wondered what he wanted, hoping that it would be worth all this small talk. “Anyway, I’m busy, so if you don’t mind—”

“Want to go somewhere?”

“That depends if it’s interesting.” Karelos doodled in her notebook. A heart. She frowned and scribbled it out. She wrote I’m bored in block letters on the page instead. There. She had finally admitted it to herself. One small truth.

He smiled, oblivious to her statement. “There’s this place downtown…a new club…”

“Clubs are always the same.” She flipped to a blank page. “Is that all you’ve got?”

“There’s the after party too. I mean, if you’re not too invested in Freud…”

“Who the hell would be?” She picked up her textbook and slid it into her bag. “I bet if you surveyed everyone on campus, only three would talk to you about the Oedipus complex.”

“I wouldn’t be one of them.” He grabbed her notebook and scribbled something. “Anyway, I wrote down the address. I would’ve texted you, but I don’t have your number.” He stared at her, but she ignored the hint, forcing him to continue. “So, if you want to come, you should. I promise it’ll be fun.”

“Could you not?”

His smile faltered. “What?”

“Promise me things. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Fine.” He shrugged. “It’s probably going to be fun. You’ll miss out if you don’t go.”

“Tempting.” She toyed with the ends of her hair, enjoying the way he scanned her face, as if he were looking for a clue as to what her answer would be. “All right. I guess I can make it.”

“Cool.” He pulled out his phone. “Could you tell me your number, then?”

“Why?”

“I’m going to pick you up, of course. I just got a new car.”

Karelos thought he had been playing the game pretty well until that point. When she heard the pride in his voice as he spoke of his new Audi, she felt any interest she had in him wither and die. She looked at the boy again, closely this time, and realized he had been wearing a mask of false bravado. He wasn’t one of hers, after all. He would never be able to keep up with her. As Holden said, he was a phony.

She had always been more into literature than psychobabble.

Karelos laughed. “Oh, you. I’m bringing my own date. See you there.”

As she swept up her things, she heard him protesting, but his voice dimmed. Sometimes that happened. As she walked past the displays of food, her stomach growled, but she ignored it. The last time she had eaten a proper meal was when she had been happy. And she hadn’t been happy for the longest time.

Strangely, she didn’t think she wanted it anymore. Happiness.

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