Thursday, October 19, 2017

Raw

we set the illusion that we're cut to shape
behind it all we're broken and afraid,

grinding to the dust

What is wrong with me?

The decisions I make, all in a mock imitation of "righteousness", coming back to bite me in the arse. Is it so? 

I can't know, I don't know, can someone tell me?

Manipulative, guarded, childish -- all would be accurate when describing who I am as a person.

Do others see and feel the same things I do?

Why am I so scared to uncover what it is I really want?

I want to say I regret it, but I don't. 

Maybe I find it fun; the thrill of the chase is the predator sinking its fangs into prey. 

But even the predator devours the prey for nourishment. I toy with my food for amusement.

I wish I could say I regret it. But I don't.

And all I want is more, until everything crumbles around me.
What the fuck happened yesterday?

Monday, October 16, 2017

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ FE: Heroes ~Passion of the Summoner~


There came a knock on the door. Kiran got off her bed, the hem of her nightgown swishing at her feet.

The door opened to reveal Ephraim, the crown prince of Renais.

"Prince Ephraim! What are you doing here?" Kiran exclaimed, clearly startled by his appearance. "It's nearly midnight, milord. You should be resting."

"May I come in?" Ephraim asked. "Princess Shareena informed me that you wanted a sparring partner. Be assured that I am a cut above the rest."

Kiran blinked. It was true that she had mentioned wanting to learn to fight, but she hadn't expected Shareena to take action so quickly. "Milord, perhaps we should reschedule training for another day? It's late, and I don't think I have the energy right this moment."

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Torn

so if you're lonely,
you know I'm here waiting for you

October has finally started feeling like fall. I wake with a slight chill in the room, but nestled under the warmth of several blankets, I feel at ease.

My work schedule has been smoothing out as well. I start work anywhere between 10AM~12PM, which I prefer anyway. I'm not so much a morning person; I need at least an hour and a half to prepare everything in the morning, so if I had to work at 9AM, I would have to wake up at 7:30AM! Which is pretty brutal, if you ask me. Some people can, I can't.

Plus, it's always a rush when I need to take my dog out for his morning rounds. I feel bad because I prioritize lazing in bed for a few moments more over rolling out of bed to walk him earlier. But I will improve that, I am aware of it, I will change.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Cosmic Remedy


i feel the love,
let the past burn into the sun

There was the boy with sandy brown hair and sad eyes. I often saw him on the train in the mornings, on my way to work.

Others around him listened to music or played on their phones, but not him. He always looked deep in thought, with his brow slightly furrowed as he stared out the window. He appeared young, too young to have such a sad expression.

He looked like someone I knew; that's what I told myself whenever I saw him. Perhaps I was trying to convince myself. Perhaps I was just lonely.

Couldn't it be both?