Wednesday, September 20, 2017

9/20 Update

My past weekend was spent going out with the fam-jam and going out with friends, and I am exhausted! I went with my S/O and my sister and her friend to eat Korean food, and then afterwards we went to see "IT". We went to Bulk Barn in New West to buy a bunch of snacks for the movie, and that place is awesome! I loaded up on corn nuts, candy/lollipops, pine nuts, cookies and more. That movie was definitely worth the ticket price, as it was over 2 hours long! The special effects were impressive, but I didn't find the movie particularly scary.

The next day, I met up with a friend for lunch at West Oak in Yaletown. I really like that restaurant, I went once with my partner a while back. I didn't bother taking photos, but I had crab cakes to start and a scallop gnocchi main. We knocked back our cocktails and chatted. It felt great to treat myself after being so stressed out from work.

Later, we moved onto drinks and dinner with another friend at Earl's. Seriously, I had a steak and prawn dinner after that heavy lunch. YOLO!💁 I need to cut back on the splurging, but I hadn't treated myself in a while so I figured, why not?! I brought lunch to work for the past 2 weeks, so with that money saved, I might as well.

I feel like... life has settled into a lukewarm routine this year. Repetitive, but not unenjoyable. I need to go wash up and head to bed, but I felt like blogging something tonight. Man, this blog is old. Posts since 2009, baby!

My hair has been slowly growing. I regret not taking pictures and posting more of my summer nail sets, hair colours, and purchases, but I don't have much time to document things these days. I've been lazy and unmotivated. I've been feeling lately that life = experiences to be enjoyed in the moment, instead of always stopping to take photos of everything to preserve.  I still occasionally do, but only when the moment feels right. 

My hair journey! Now vs. two months ago.

Maybe I'll slowly put snippets here and there of daily life, but with everything so busy I can't really commit. This upcoming weekend I have a Brennan Heart concert, and the very next morning I go out with my friend for breakfast/glazing the mugs we sculpted out of clay at a studio, and then the weekend after I have to attend my friend's DJ gig at a club. No rest for the weary, always... I just want a lazy morning in bed... 💭 I used to say "sleep is for the weak!" but now I can barely remember back to those days!

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

1/2 September

I bought a new side table for my room, and I've somewhat decided to assemble it myself. Not that I have ever, ever assembled a single piece of furniture by myself.

It's kinda funny because I'm currently working as a TSR but admittedly I've never had to set up a cablebox or internet modem. It's not something I'm proud of, or anything snobby like that, but someone has always taken care of it for me. My partner assembled all the furniture in my bedroom when we moved to Burnaby, and usually my partner takes care of all the building and heavy lifting. I guess it's a funny thing? How one's appearance dictates how people treat them. But I suppose I've always known that.

The only piece of furniture I've ever helped, and by helped I mean helped disassemble, was my friend Laerie's loft bed. That was quite a fun bonding activity.

Anyway, I opened the box with my side table and feel lost already. My partner was confused as to why I didn't want him to build it for me. He offered twice... I guess I'll attempt it first!

Make that 3 times... LOL!♡

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Lost In Thoughts

you are the ocean's grey waves,
destined to seek life beyond the shore
just out of reach

I'm emotionally exhausted. I have nothing more to give or offer at all. I'm a fury of confusion and smoke and mirrors all together in one. It's exhausting. I don't know who I am or what I want. All I know is that I'm living this lie and causing casualties on all sides.

I don't really want what I think I want, that's the confusing part. And what I want, I know I shouldn't have. Like wanting the cake and eating it, too. It just doesn't work out... so why am I always falling into the same pitfalls over and over?

This month... I know it's never going to get anywhere or amount to anything. I just have to wait for this month to be over. But, why do I feel like I want something to happen? It's not going to because it can never be, it's forbidden on all frontiers.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Another Life

I will lay down my weapons in the fire, for higher love
Armor on, you use your heart as a fortress

Everything bleeds together in some sort of weird, hot mess. Feelings, memories, and people.

I feel like I'm always caught in the middle of something, searching endlessly for a feeling or emotion reminiscent of the past.

Blue eyes and blond hair, a light-eyed brunette; everything repeats itself over and over. My life is filled with memories and emotions that I fight to suppress, but everything is ultimately still very much a part of me.

It's month 3 into my new job at work. I managed to meet some new friends, and I am beyond grateful for their support. But it seems like I shouldn't get too attached because as my friend tells me, "coping is a necessary skill". And everyone is always leaving, coming in and out of our lives, so there needn't be too much attachment involved. Right? I don't know about that. All I really know is that life is short and we have to learn to cherish memories as we make them.

Today I finally hung out with Laer outside of work; we went to the library to study. She's leaving to Japan to study next year, so again, time together is cut short. The same thing happened with Karena... she went back to Japan too, and it was pretty sudden. I can always try to go there and visit them, but everything takes time. And another year passing by seems so difficult for me to embrace as I age.

Sunday, July 9, 2017

A Brief Recap

Finally! A weekend! 🙇 I was feeling so burnt out from work this week. Even though all I do is sit in front of a computer and talk to people the whole day, my body feels sore and sluggish. I'm actually worried about developing carpal tunnel...

On Thursday, I sat with the boys in my training class during lunch break. They all offered me some of their food; I didn't buy any lunch that day. I need to start bringing some healthy foods to work for lunch. My break isn't long enough for me to wander far for eats, unfortunately. Anyway, I got a hot wing, a bit of pita bread wrap, and a piece of chocolate chip cookie. I felt grateful at that time, because sharing food with others is something important to me. I was happy that they considered me close enough to put effort to be nice to me. Two of them always make an effort to greet me, which may be a cultural thing, but it does make me feel valued in the group. Oh I know, I'm too sensitive! 🙈

On Friday after work, my Kawaii Kru friends and I went to the Orpheum Theatre to watch Pokemon Symphonic Evolutions. I wanted to hear more songs from Gold/Silver/Crystal, but they only played a few. The most memorable was "Ecruteak City". I actually cried! Well that doesn't take much, but I was moved. That was from my childhood, man. Nostalgic feelings ensued.

And... Saturday. Well, work, and then a childhood friend of mine and I went to eat dinner and see the new Spiderman movie, which tbh was a bit boring, but the Suit Lady was named Karen. Probably because it's my birthday soon 💖 so the universe is preparing. I even rolled my 5* Summer Robin with +SPD -HP IVs... thanks to the advice of my friend. I'm merging her with my existing Robin~ I love the Ylissean Summer banner! The beach babes are A+! 😍😘 I am lucky to roll Summer Robin and Summer Tiki.

Jackpot, baby. I love fish+spear designs!

One thing that bothers me this month so far is that I went to the hairstylist and I tried a new person and while the colour came out fine, I realized over the course of a few days that the hair wasn't cut very well... I feel so gross with my hair that after work on Thursday I have to rush to Leo for him to fix it. It literally looks like the lady snipped off inches from my hair and didn't bother to touch the ends up. My hair is uneven; one side is longer than the other, and for some reason the front of my hair is longer than the back... I hate it so much but I'm trying to cope. I have never had my hair so ugly... lol. I am still waiting on a response from the stylist to see what she says about it.

Anyway... I'm trying to get back into blogging... gotta record my day somehow so I can remember the good times and vent occasionally about disgruntling times. 😁